Youngest Son doesn’t say too much. In fact I barely see him these days.
Tucked away in his room, connected to his laptop or PS3 or both, at the same time. It used to be that you had to have friends over to play. These days, friends are also all nestled in their own spaces, wherever that might be for them. They can all connect and play and talk on-line to one another via the internet, instead of having to actually be in the same room together.
When I walk into YS’s room he lifts his right hand off the controller, tapping his bluetooth ear mike OFF so his friends cannot listen in on our conversation. He’s learned to be quick with that after I walked in and said ‘night sweetie’ one evening. Our 16 year boy doesn’t ever again want his friends to hear such words coming from his mother.
It’s difficult to stay connected to teenagers. Well, maybe in my case, teenage boys. Dear Daughter and I , YS’s twin, are very much connected but perhaps it’s easier as she and I seem to have more girlie-stuff in common.
The fact that he’s up there all the time can drive me crazy some days. Our kids all complain about the internet censorship that goes on, living where we do. At least I don’t have to worry about their watching all kinds of strange and wild things that teenage boys might get into (I know what you’ll say here…. just wait till we move and they try to catch up on all they missed!). He’s of a curious mind though so between his friends, his games, his football … his other favorite interest is Wikipedia. He’s always been one to seek out and absorb information on all kinds of topics. So it can’t be all bad, this relationship with his laptop.
I try in the best way I know how to make it into his space. His life. Coming up and checking in on him every once in a while. Saying ‘night sweetie’ and kissing him on the cheek before I go to bed.
YS in particular is very much a jokester. He’s also easily embarrassed. So to make I point I do silly, embarrassing things in front of him which always catches his attention, good or bad as that may be.
The other day he said to me
No matter what Mom, you always make me laugh every day.
I could think of a lot worse things a 16 year-old might say about their mother. I’ll take that as a compliment and try again today to find a suitable silliness to put on display, to make that connection. Lucky for me – doing something absurd or experiencing one of life’s most embarassing moments is pretty much a daily occurrence for me anyways.
I enjoyed that being I have a 16 year old son !!
It’s hard. I bet our hubbies feel the same way trying to connect with daughters….it’s just a little different somehow.