Even more than the 1st of January, September always seems like A NEW YEAR to me. Everyone going back to school and work and whatever else life means to them after some play, relaxation and hopefully time away from the mundane. With any luck the break included a chance to review what maybe happened in the last year and if we’re looking to change things around in the next.
Yesterday I watched a video blog I came upon just by chance. From what I can tell by a quick tour of the site the blogger is a life coach, a writer and an artist.
(I came upon her from another blog who is another ‘coach’ of sorts but she calls herself a strategist, a philosopher and a mama. And SHE rocks in my opinion!)
The blogger was so excited by what she was about to share she decided on video format rather than just writing down her thoughts. What was the video about? Her vision for her business and her life.
First, let me give her full credit for putting herself out there and sharing as she did. I’m sure it was all heartfelt, her truth and after all, her story. I will also give her credit for as she put it “being brave, transparent and authentic with her readers, etc. ”
Then, let me say, “whew”!
I was exhausted from just listening to it all let alone what it must feel like trying to accomplish. It is huge! And not huge in the way that she has grand aspirations. Well, actually she does have pretty grand aspirations. But it’s huge in all that it encompasses. There is so much of it. It goes on, and on, and on.
I cannot imagine trying to live up to all of what she wrote/said. I particularly felt the need to squirm in my chair when words started flowing like
- …. living in perfect balance.
- …. all aspects of my life is in perfect harmony
- …. open up to receive the perfect person….the perfect illustrator.
Whammo! Those words can stop me in my tracks – literally!
I’m all for having a vision. A goal. All the experts say it makes a difference if you write it down. Say it outloud. Tell others. Particularly telling others as that’s meant to help you be accountable. But I couldn’t help thinking …. how the heck can a person even work towards that, when there’s just – so – much – of – it? And it all needs to be, oh – so – perfect!
Isn’t okay good enough? Or even awesome? Or amazing? Wonderful? Magnificent? But perfect?
Maybe it’s just me being overly sensitive to the word…. due to the somewhat perfectionist tendancies in my own personality. Trying to achieve perfect over the years has on occasion, gotten me into trouble. It can paralyze me before I even begin. It can stop me from completing something that’s fantastic because I’m afraid it’s just – not – quite – perfect – yet. The result being, it never gets finished.
Another questionable quality I’ve come to realize is mine but is not always a blessing is my absolutely fantastic ability to multitask so well! Yes, I can do about 10 different things all at the same time but wonder if by doing so, I sometimes lose my focus in doing them well. Or again, just finishing them. Finishing just one thing.
So I’m going to take the advice of a wise ol’ cowboy instead of the life coach I stumbled upon.
I have one goal for this upcoming year. This one goal scares me to death. Enough that I’m not ready to share it just yet. But just one thing IS enough for me now.
And watching the video has reminded me of the one thing that really is most important in my life, regardless of whether I reach any other goals.
Looking after my herd.
Danielle LaPorte said:
thanks for the shout out!
aaaack! For the very first time ever I must have hit PUBLISH, instead of SAVE!!!! So, being the perfectionist and all – I need to go back and at least do a spell check as this wasn’t ready to GO yet.
I just got back from yoga…. Peace interrupted for sure!
Anyways, you’re welcome Danielle!
Believe me, your herd is pretty great so you must be doing something right! Perfection is actually rather silly and sets you up only for failure as none of us will ever reach it. And who makes all these “life coaches” and assorted “thinkers” right ? Most of them are teachers/coaches/etc. ” only in their own minds and whoever they can reach to follow them rather mindlessly along their journey. Everyone has to find their own way to manage in this world and the journey is called “life”. Live it as well as you can.
Oooops, I think I just wrote my own column. Sorry!
Ahh perfectionism, my own, self-imposed, frustrating nemesis. It stares me in the face more times than I like to admit and haunts my choices and behaviours with more regularity than a high fibre diet. It is something I have had a personal struggle with for as long as I can remember and, in trying to curb this demon, I have reflected on it’s origin numerous times. For some time now I have come to accept that there is a good chance it comes from that cause of so many undesirable human traits – a lack of self-esteem. While I can accept that as part of the foundation of perfectionistic tendancies, it is too vague, too general, too ‘one-size-fits-all’ to be the exact and distinct cause of my own foible. So, I keep wondering. Why do I, a generally confident, capable woman, become so concerned with doing things right – so right – even when “good enough” would be just fine?
I still have no idea what the real answer, the ‘perfect’ answer, is but I have come up with a pretty convincing theory (at least to myself). I am average, a slice of the norm; I am neither highly accomplished nor exhibit greatness in any particular area. I am not brilliant nor moronic, not physically gifted nor inept. I am average and, perhaps, there is a part in all of us that wants to be great at something because being ‘average’ implies that we are unremarkable or, as in your blog’s title, barely noticeable. Perhaps my perfectionistic tendancies are nothing more than an effort on my part to be more than average, to be worthy of noticing, of remembering, even if it simply for having a kitchen sink that is never over-flowing with dirty dishes or a having a bookshelf full of books whose spines have never been broken. Perhaps.
Fortunately, my husband, kids and daily responsiblities have been a tremendous ‘help’ in fighting my desire (or need?) to be perfect. Just one look at my home, my van, my office or myself will confirm just how perfectly well I have done in squelching a lot of my perfectionistic tendancies. While my mind, all to often, gives the rally cry for perfection, the body’s cry of “good enough” prevails. haha
Score one for me! I didn’t even check for spelling or grammatical errors before I hit “submit” (and don’t tell me if there are any!). Chalk up another victory over the demon. haha
Thanks for the complement on our herd. They are pretty great!
Yes, perfection is silly but it’s a part of me so I try my best to move past it. The older I am the easier it is to manage and perhaps it’s from realizing no one’s paying attention anyway. It’s my own expectations I have to manage, not what I believe others place upon me.
I agree anyone can call themselves a life coach and it doesn’t make them right. As with life coaches, news stories, books, conversations… the trick is wading through it all and finding what rings true, as you say. Some are helpful in offering new insights. Others, by confirming what’s doesn’t sit so well.
Comments are ALWAYS appreciated, so no need to say sorry!
It’s hard to strike a balance between perfection and good enough and your theory is a good one, to which I can relate. I am not one for lazy acceptance of mediocrity but perfection is too unattainable.
Everyone wants to feel special, to be worthy, remarkable – noticeable. Many say we need to think that of ourselves regardless of others. You know – love yourself, … blather, blather. That’s great – but I still think it’s important for friends, family, teachers, colleagues, employers, coaches to show appreciation because of that most basic need in all of us. Whether it’s that kitchen sink that’s not overflowing or the brilliant shot on the golf course, each should be acknowledged and appreciated for the effort in getting the job done.
Yes, our lives have a way of helping us past some of these traits whether we like it or not!
By the way, I think you’re brilliant and you often give me a good laugh which is something I ALWAYS appreciate!