, , , , , , ,

I try to take notice when things happen, seemingly for a reason.

Like yesterday as I wrote a big long blah-de-blah blog post about my work situation and why I quit my job AGAIN.  I’ve written a few draft posts much the same, as my work situations have not worked out very well for the past few five years or so. In the posts, without naming names or getting into too much detail I basically cussed-out and blamed my former bosses, or employers for various reasons.  To justify myself.

I finally finished (another) one, all ready to post and POOF!  Lost it!

How the heck did I manage to do that?  What a waste of time to write all that, only to have it disappear?  I’m sure I  hit the ‘save draft’ along the way.  Must have.

For whatever reason it was gone.

I think it was meant to be.

Who needs to know what all my sour-puss reasons are.  My justifications for leaving yet another job here.

The past week I’ve been somewhat apologetic to the people who employed me, to the people I left behind, to those I hired, to those I perhaps let down in the process because I quit.

Upon reflection however – it was a job.  It wasn’t right for me, therefore I wasn’t right for it.  Simple.  Move on.

There seems to be an issue about people not sticking with things.  I’ve talked about it before on this blog.  Why do I have to stick with it?  Is there a rule that says person can’t change their mind?  Do I slog it out, though I knew it felt wrong in my body? I felt ill at ease, unsure, besieged with thoughts of anguish and at odds with my self?

There are those that believe – yes.  That’s life.  Suck it up.

But who is it I answer to?

My mentors, my heroes in this life seem to be ones that stay true to themselves and their character.  Ones who are bold and passionate and take chances.  Who speak up.  Ones who live life with adventure and wonder and who don’t want to ‘settle’.

Because.  Someone thinks they should.

I’ll take the flak and the feedback regarding my actions.  The questions I get from friends and family.  Even my kids saying ‘here we go again’.

My husband sometimes says I’m the type of person where nothing is ever good enough. (Don’t get me wrong.  On the flip-side, he is my strongest supporter.) But, I disagree.  There is much in my life that is good enough.  And I am not ‘wanting for things’.

But I can not, will not, sacrifice  my soul or the greater part of my day to something that is not true for me.

You must shed the darkest parts of your life to allow the light to shine through.  And I believe…. there are still many treasures to be found.

So, …… here we go again!