A headline reads “Call to respect culture” in the Gulf Times today. In the article written about the Doha International Centre for Interfaith Dialogue the Chairman of the DICID suggests community leaders should do more to better educate their compatriots on the customs, traditions and culture of Qatar so they can better interact with the culture of the host country.
When asked about the “disengagement felt by expatriate communities” a Muslim scholar in attendance blamed it on expatriates themselves, saying they did not show enough respect to the host nation’s culture. The example he provided was the way expatriates dress. “Visit any mall and you will see expatriate men in shorts and scantily-clad women”.
I wonder though, if the lack of engagement has anything to do with the opportunity to engage at all?
I read one person’s light and humorous explanation along this line in the book The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner.
It occurs to me that I’ve been in Qatar for several days now and have yet to meet any Qataris. This is a problem. My journalistic instincts, honed over two decades, tell me that in order to probe the Qatari soul it might be helpful to speak with actual Qataris. But where? The usual journalist’s trick of interviewing the cab driver wasn’t working. He was invariably from India. Nor could I interview my waiter (Filipino) or the manager at hotel reception (Egyptian). No, I needed an introduction, an entrée into this tribal society.
I had a lead. A phone number for one Sami. He is a friend of a friend who works at Al Jazeera, the controversial Arabic TV network that’s based in Qatar. Sami is not Qatari, but I bet he knows some…I take a sip of lime juice and ask Sami if he could help me meet some Qataris. You would think I had asked Sami if he could arrange lunch with the queen of England, rather than asking to meet the citizens of the very country I happen to be visiting at the moment……“This is going to be tough, Eric.”
It’s rather difficult to engage with a culture, a people, a society when you don’t have opportunity to do so. I’ve only met one Qatari man ‘socially’ and that’s because he’s married to a friend of mine. Other than that, I have only ever met Qataris through work situations. For those I have met, I then needed to navigate my way through some rules of engagement when dealing with them.
Years ago a man from my husband’s office was helping us to settle in Qatar when we first arrived. He got to be quite friendly with my husband and eventually with our family. However, when I saw him out one day, it was very clear to me from his body language I was not to speak or make contact with him. It was such a strange feeling. I told my husband about the encounter and he told me it would not have been appropriate for him to do so, with me not being in the company of my husband. Also, this man never once introduced us to his wife, on those occasions she was with him.
Scanning the Canadian news today, there was an article Veiled Threat: Niqab new flashpoint in tolerance debate that spoke of the laws allowing you to believe whatever you want but society not having the duty to ‘accommodate’ those if they become unreasonable. Allowing , or not allowing the wearing of veils seems to be a hot topic these days around the globe.
Qatari women all wear the abaya and cover their heads. Whether they cover their faces seems to depend on individual family traditions or requirements. Some do, others don’t. I understand the reasons for it, accept it, but it still feels like a barrier between me and the person I’m trying to relate to. I can’t ‘read’ their facial expressions. You can get some expression through the eyes I suppose, but that doesn’t tell the full story. I feel much the same when talking on the phone with someone, or how I may not capture the right tone of a conversation through reading an email. Face to face always works best in my opinion.
The article in our local news went on to quote various statements regarding the possible reasons for disengagement, or solutions to better the situation. One suggested the abuse of sponsorship here as one of the major obstacles. Another said they should organize sports competitions between different communities. Another talked about the alienation felt by many expatriates and then provided statistics that of those visiting the psychiatric hospitals here, 90% were expatriates. Others urged the teaching of curriculum specific to this, or suggested more expatriates should learn Arabic.
I don’t know the solution to the problem. I can only say that living here has provided me the opportunity to meet and learn about so many people, from all over the world. I’m afraid I haven’t had the same opportunity to meet and learn about the people of Qatar. Unfortunate, really. However, the fact there was a meeting held here to discuss “Expatriates and Religious Diversity in Qatar” is a step in the right direction and gives me hope for more dialogue, understanding and tolerance of one another in the future.
barelynoticeable 
What the Muslim scholar said about expats disrespecting the culture was just a way to blame someone for the miscommunication between Qataris and Expats. However, the fact that this is a narrow view doesn’t mean its not correct. Of course there are certain individuals who disrespect the culture but at at the same time there are certain Qataris disrespect foreigners.
Yes it is difficult to meet Qataris but this is not completely true. I have many expats friends from all over the world, we go out, they come to my house and we party together . I met them at the gym, or school or through other friends.
But some Qataris do not feel confident enough speaking in English, and so they feel shy to approach anyone or even be approached. There are those other rules that foreigners don’t understand. For example, your husband’s friend didn’t approach you because he probably thought that might offend you. Someone’s wife is a taboo for men here, and he probably felt the same way about his. Qatari men wouldn’t bring their wife and introduce them to their friends, that is something not acceptable here. But there is a new generation that thinks differently and are open to change.
One thing that people seem to forget is that we are a minority in our own country, we are 14% of the population. So of course it would be difficult to find Qataris to meet.
What is lacking here is toleration. Expats might not tolerate the Qatari way of living and so does Qataris. I see Muslims in the UK having the freedom to wear what they want, perform prayer anywhere they wish and live their lives according to what their beliefs. At the same time, they are polite, stand in queues, eat fish and chips (I know that’s a silly comment) but I mean that they also live the British way of life.
But here it is difficult because the Qatari way of living is not like anything else. It is very family oriented and people tend to stick to their own small communities. It is not common for Qataris to hang out in public all the time. We usually perfere to do out door activities such as camping in the desert or beach or have gatherings at family and friends house. Going out to restaurants, cinemas and shopping malls is fairly new to Qataris. Also, Qataris might tend to think that expats will not understand how men and women do not interact as much as they do in the west. So going out with an expat might include some other expats from the opposite gender which might make some Qataris uncomfortable.
But there is no general rule. Because despite the small size of our society, there are many different communities within it, varying from extremely conservative to extremely open minded. So it actually depends on each individual I would say.
Mimi, I would agree with your explanations and you make some very valid points. Particularly how there are so few Qataris here, so the opportunity is of course less to meet them.
I also think it is very hard for us/me to understand how men and women do not interact as much as they do in the west. I accept it, I just would have a hard time living that way myself.
And yes, I think there is a new generation of Qataris open to change. I think it will be interesting to see what kinds of changes take place here, what traditions are kept and what ones are modified just as we modify ours, as the world around us changes. I know our children certainly have a more broad-minded and global experience than I ever did growing up. More knowledge, more tolerance, more acceptance of all people and that can only bring positive changes in the future.
By the way, appreciate your humor with the fish and chips….standing in queues….!
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